Hello, fellow seekers

Hello, I'm a student of the Mysteries. A new student, I might add; I may qualify for Neophyte status, but certainly no more. I ran across a torrent from this site and it was like Christmas! I have a few things that I noticed were not in the Occult Carrot download, so I know I can contribute something. I would like to help any way I can.

I'm fascinated with the occult. I have been a pagan for several years, but somehow never made it to "this neck of the woods" until just a few months ago. It's like my eyes have been opened, and I'm overwhelmed with all of the exciting possibilities for spiritual development through the Western tradition. Thank you for the torrent, and I'm glad to be a part of the community!

Welcome aboard!

There are quite a few torrents apart from Occult Carrot, worth checking out! There should be a search page up soon-ish as well, so people like yourself will be able to see what's been released and what hasn't.

When you say you've been a pagan for several years, would you care to elaborate on what you've been interested in?

Hello, and thank you for the warm welcome. I appreciate your interest.

I look forward to exploring the other torrents available in the community! You may have opened up Pandora's Box with your question. I apologize if I ramble too much.

When I say I've been pagan for several years, I mostly mean Wicca. That's what I discovered when I was 17, initially through the works of Scott Cunningham but then through many more authors. At the time it was that old story: something other than Christianity. I was disillusioned and looking for something else, and in my juvenile ignorance I thought that the Eastern paths were the only real alternatives. Then I ran across Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner in the bookstore. I thumbed through it and was absolutely thrilled with what I found. You mean people actually make a religion out of this stuff? It seemed to be much closer to what I actually believed than anything else I had encountered up to that point.

Over the next several years (that was in 1999, I believe), I went down many other paths, namely Taoism. After a few years of Wicca, I found that as much as I liked the idea, I couldn't really get into the practice. I couldn't get past the "I'm pretending" mental block, maybe as a direct result of not having been brought up with it. At the time, though, I wasn't a student of the occult; I didn't realize how powerful I could be in creating my own subjective reality. As a result, Wicca fell by the wayside, and I was drifting again. I was fascinated with Taoism for quite a while, and also greatly influenced by the works of Eckhart Tolle. I really gravitated to non-dogmatic spirituality (if you could call it that; mostly I was stuck in my physical reality and kept myself sedated with alcohol and various drugs. In retrospect, that was part of my journey as well). When I got married, my wife found my old Wicca books and discovered that she too was interested in those subjects. So I found a joyful reunion in that path, although this time around with much less of a "Christianity rebound" effect, if you know what I mean. I had matured emotionally and spiritually enough so that I could enjoy it as it is. That was a little over a year ago.

Roundabout my 27th birthday, I was investigating many books that I might like to add to my magickal library. Most were paganism-related, but I ran across one called High Magic by Frater U.'.D.'. I'm sure most of you are familiar with this work. I hadn't really read much about ceremonial magick and didn't quite know what it was about. I was floored to discover that it's exactly what I've always looked for: a very practical, hands-on, active means of total personal and spiritual development. For the first time, I'm not just reading; I'm practicing. To me that's amazing. So I'm going down the rabbit hole, and it just never ends. There's so much material out there (and some of it is very very old), it's mind-boggling. Where has Hermeticism been my whole life? Where has the Golden Dawn and the Western Magickal Tradition been my whole life? Right under my nose. Hiding in plain sight. I can only say that my higher self waited until I was ready to pursue it in earnest to reveal it to me.

So....I'm excited! My life is overflowing with possibilities and potential, and I welcome any opportunity to network with others who feel the same way.

I know I got way off the subject, but I hope I answered your question.

MysteryStudent wrote:I know I got way off the subject, but I hope I answered your question.

Bah! Seemed right on-topic to me! Welcome, MysteryStudent!

Have you worked with a coven yet? Or maybe your interest is focused on the solitary practitioner?

Thank you, Khephra, for your warm welcome.

I appreciate your question. I have never worked with a coven before. Not one time. The closest I have come is whatever shared activities my wife and I have done. I almost participated in a ritual with Gavin and Yvonne Frost and others at a Pagan Pride Day event a couple months ago, but our daughter was getting very fussy and we had to leave.

Incidentally, that was the exact same day (and event) that I discovered the local O.T.O. body, Sol Invictus Oasis. They had a booth set up. If you'll remember in my last post, I commented about finding High Magic by Frater U.'.D.'. and the excitement that ensued. Well, that was merely days before I saw this O.T.O. booth, and it was like synchronicity. I was taken aback by the "coincidence" of finding out about this group right just as I was learning about the wonders of ceremonial magick! I spoke with the people running it, and got the email address of the head of the oasis. I emailed him (it was long and drawn-out, like my posts), and have been corresponding ever since. I look to get involved with that group if possible.

So I have always been a solitary practitioner. While it is mostly due to a lack of groups to be a part of, I can also say that I enjoy the solitary vibe. Magick and spirituality have always been very personal to me. However, John Michael Greer and others have convinced me that being part of a cohesive magickal group can have many benefits. I would like to explore those benefits, not the least of which is the chance to hang out with like-minded people; but I also would like to be part and parcel to the egregore.

Always tie your shoelaces securely before visiting the O.:T.:O.:

Thanks for the heads up

welcome aboard! i hope that you enjoy the forum and find it useful. personally i don't have much respect for the OTO and see them as more of a money-making machine than a legitimate magical order, although i can understand why you'd be excited to work with others (and i've been very influenced by writings from joel biroco and satyr, KAOS magazine and THE BLACK LODGE OF SANTA CRUZ, give em a look). the more self-empowered practicing magicians in the world, the better, in my opinion, so glad to have you contributing.

Ezavan,

Thank you for the great advice! In my short time here I have read many of your posts and I must say that I certainly enjoy them. It is apparent that there are some very sharp minds in this community, and I am glad to be in your midst.

I'm a bit undecided myself about the OTO at this point...you have made an accurate observation, though; it's not exactly the OTO in particular that I'm eager to join (in fact I haven't really warmed up to Thelema), it's the prospect of working with a magical group. I have been researching and exploring the phenomenon of Internet groups and how an authentic egregore can be developed, with no less a sense of fellowship and community. So I truly appreciate the suggestions! I will certainly investigate Joel Biroco, Satyr, KAOS Magazine, and THE BLACK LODGE OF SANTA CRUZ.

the more self-empowered practicing magicians in the world, the better, in my opinion, so glad to have you contributing.

How true! I thank you, and I concur. We are all part of the evolution of consciousness.

I look forward to interacting with this community, and you can probably expect many questions and inquisitive posts from me.

It's good to keep your eyes wide open concerning possible sexual intrigues that can happen in some O.:T.:O.: camps, oases, etc.

Ohhhh..

So it's a good idea to keep your shoes well tied to keep your pants from coming off! Or am I way off?

I appreciate the warning. It's funny you should mention that, actually. I had coffee with the Master of the Oasis in question just last night, and he explained that particular aspect of the organization. It is just like you said, Amanda. At one point he actually said that OTO is essentially "a sex cult". And I have read some material recently indicating that the higher degrees of OTO are all about sex magick.

I must say, with this new information, that I'm not so sure I'm comfortable with them. So far, I know that dues and fees get more astronomical with each higher degree, and they're basically a sex cult. I'm sure there's more to it than that, no doubt. But my wife would never be comfortable with me being in such a group.

I actually think I'll start a topic soon about Aleister Crowley and Thelema. I have some burning questions and concerns that I wish to address.

Thanks Amanda!

Actually, there are a lot of groups out there that practice sex magic. It's interesting to me that the OTO is set up the way it is. Dues are one thing - they help the group afford materials, facilities, social events (those whose goal isn't the magic so much as the emotional bonds between the members), and the like - but increasing them with higher degrees of progression? Sounds like a way to limit your "elite" to the rich. Hardly a group focused on the growth of its members.

But then, what do I know? I've just barely begun to nibble around the edges of what the occult truly is.

I believe I've spoken to you before, elsewhere, but I wanted to say hello properly. So, greetings, fellow traveler! May the Winds guide you in your Journey!

- Sendoshin

Sendoshin,

Thank you for the welcome. Greetings to you as well, and I wish you the best in your journey.

---

Ezavan,

I would like to thank you enthusiastically for pointing me to KAOS magazine and THE BLACK LODGE OF SANTA CRUZ. To make a long story short, I had reached a point where I really wanted to join a "magical" group and OTO was the only one around. So, in spite of everything I've heard here and elsewhere, I applied for Minerval initiation. After all, I had never really given Thelema and Crowley a fair shot. Why not?

Well, that lasted about a month. Maybe. I threw myself into Thelemic studies, and for the most part I could jive with what I found. Discover and live your True Will? Love is the law? Sounds good to me! But I found that there were also quite a few things that I didn't groove with. It just didn't seem like me. Finally I just decided, "What the hell am I doing with these people? I'm so much better off by myself!" This was after attending a Gnostic Mass. It dawned on me that I was the only one there who was married and had children. I was the only one there who wasn't interested in the parties, and the local dues were way out of my comfort zone. I dropped before initiation came around. I lost 40 bucks in the matter, because I guess initiation fees are non-refundable, but I saved a shitload more money in the long run.

So there I was, back to square one, wondering what to do next. Then I remember you suggesting KAOS and THE BLACK LODGE. I hadn't really read those, so I went back. I understand the OTO has muscled the Black Lodge document off the net with their legal prowess. Because of your advice I snatched it months ago before it was gone. Wow. Obviously this little story of mine is leading to my reading of this document. I'm especially glad of not going through with it after reading that gem.

Just like you said, the more self-empowered practicing magicians in the world, the better. I think I'm finally coming around to the sheer value of being a solo practitioner. Thanks again to you and to this whole forum for your support.